Being a business woman, clothing designer, mother and wife is very satisfying. Although sometimes I feel I have lost my “inner freedom dance”. Life seems to have a flat more mundane side, probably for all of us, in some way. I watch someone like Pink who embraces her own sense of self and does what she chooses and people love her right?? I want to be freer like Lady Gaga and more like the artist Pink. The noise of our sacred safe bubbles can drown out some inner sparkles, unfortunately.
The importance of building a lifestyle and a business is huge for me! But I have to say with all the busyness and sweet chaotic bliss, I lose my inner chill zone. When thinking of who I desire to be more of, sadly I see myself in my imagination dancing by a fire on the beach, or swimming for five hours a day. These luscious thoughts are mesmerizing and fanciful but they do not pay the bills or build businesses.
Yes I could let all material things go, live in a hut by the beach and live off the land. Of course! But is someone like me going to do that, probably not. My deepest desires do not escape me, ever. My drive to design clothing for women so they can feel relaxed, beautiful and lovely is part of me. These deep seeded visions and desires will not leave me if I ditched the real world. So I sit doing what I want, desire and what I feel driven to do on this planet.
I am human; I have instincts for freedom and always have wild animal dancing thoughts. I want to do it all but can admit I am not at that point yet. My mind is quite honestly in a frenzy of inspiration most of the time, which can be quite consuming. I am not knocking this excitement; just pointing out that being on the right path takes over sometimes.
Deep admiration I have for the women I know that let loose, dance, and exercise and relax often. Yes I ride my bike with my son a few times a week now, go walking and hiking from time to time. And Touché, yes I watch TV shows on Netflix while curled up on the couch. But my inner freedom dance can get pretty darn depleted at the best of times. My child like need to be free, dance and just eat vegan is gone right now. Because I want to do more than that, make a difference, inspire and work hard at what I am passionate about.
This leads me to believe that the cliché need for a balanced life is in fact essential for healthy living. The conclusion for letting my inner flower child out makes me think we can leave that freedom for the weekends or spontaneous moments when we are so lucky to experience them. But who am I to say what to do with these desires, I am still learning and exploring just like the rest of us. For now I will dance freely in my mind and find things to sparkle my true being. Dancing like a true flower child will always be part of who I am, yet can be set aside for just awhile longer, I suppose.